


If Love is What We Tasted

by keepthekettleon



Series: Wrong Side of Heaven [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec and Lydia are married, Alec is super fucking gay for Magnus though, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Infidelity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Political Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24897079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepthekettleon/pseuds/keepthekettleon
Summary: Something flickers over Alec's face, and if Magnus didn't know better, he might think it's something like regret. "I made my choice, Magnus," Alec says. "I have to be happy with it."---Magnus and Alec connect at Jace and Clary's engagement party.
Relationships: Background Clary Fray/Jace Wayland - Relationship, Implied Alec Lightwood/Lydia Branwell, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Wrong Side of Heaven [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1801534
Comments: 17
Kudos: 86





	If Love is What We Tasted

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fic in a series of non-chronological glimpses into Alec and Magnus' love story, if the wedding had gone just a little bit different.
> 
> Every story works as a standalone. All the fics just take place in the same universe.

Alec looks beautiful as always as Magnus watches him across the room. Sipping champagne, smiling as he talks to the happy couple that is the reason for their gathering today. Clary and Jace deserve their happiness and Magnus is glad for them. The last years have been difficult for all of them and now that things finally seem to settle down, it’s great to see them finally tie the knot. Alec turns away from the pair and Magnus averts his gaze. He's getting better at that now. At first... he doesn't want to think back on the first couple months after Alec's wedding, where everything had still been so raw and avoiding Alec had been near impossible. Sometimes he wonders if only he remembers all the instances where he'd looked away just a fraction of a second too late and had met Alec's eyes. Alec never brought it up. Maybe it was a kindness, or maybe Alec really hadn't noticed.

By now, Magnus is good at pretending to not look. Part of him still wants Alec to look back, but if he ever does, Magnus doesn't notice. Alec has his back turned to him now, so Magnus looks again. He should put an end to this. Cat has suggested often enough that he should leave, like he left London after Camille. And Alec won't come after him. He could really get a new start. He's too lost in his own thoughts to notice Alec turning around until he can feel Alec's eyes staring back at him. Alec lifts his glass with a soft smile. When was the last time they'd looked at each other like this? Have they ever? Has there ever been a time where the entire world seemed to slow down around them until it's just the two of them, looking at each other across the room, unable to say something? If there had been a moment like that, Magnus doesn't remember.

Alec turns his head and nods towards an abandoned corner of the room. Magnus grabs his champagne and follows. Why, he doesn't know. They haven't really  _ talked _ for years. Sure, they've worked together, they exchanged words. With every step towards Alec, Magnus' dread grows. He doesn't know what to say, and that's not a predicament he often finds himself in. Alec waits there, away from the crowd, that stupid small smile still on his lips. Does he even know he's doing it? 

"Alec..." Magnus smiles. "How are you doing?" It's lame, but all the questions Magnus  _ wants _ to ask are the ones he can't say.  _ What is this? Why do you want to talk to me? Why  _ **_now_ ** _ , after all these years of silence? _

"I'm doing okay." Alec nods. It's hard to judge how honest that answer is. Magnus hasn't looked Alec in the eyes for at least two years, so how can presume to know him well enough to know if he's telling the truth? Alec has always been a miserable liar, at least back then. Maybe he's gotten better at it. Magnus smiles. It hurts to look at Alec. It hurts even more to see the wedded union rune on his wrist every time his sleeve moves up a little.  "How are you?" Alec's voice makes Magnus' head snap up. 

"I'm good, thank you."  _ Liar. _ Magnus has to keep himself from wincing at the accusation of his own mind. He's lying through his teeth, but Alec doesn't deserve to be burdened with his pain.  "How's Lydia?" Magnus asks. He doesn't want to know, but it's only polite. 

Alec grimaces. "She's doing good. She's coming back from Alicante tomorrow morning." 

"I'm sorry." Magnus says softly. Instinctively, he reaches out to touch Alec's hand. He hadn't meant to rub salt in a wound. 

Alec shakes his head. "It's okay. You have nothing to be sorry for."

Magnus looks up and suddenly he's taken back to  _ back then _ . When he had still been hopeful that the spark between them was real and had potential. "I'm still sorry, Alec." 

Alec takes a deep breath. "I need some air. You wanna step outside with me for a minute?" 

Magnus nods and follows Alec outside. The air is cold around them, and the night quiet. The laughs and chatter from the Hunters Moon are muffled out here. Again, Magnus doesn't know what to say.

Alec looks at him, equally lost for words. After a couple long seconds of silence, just before it shifts to awkward, he opens his mouth again. "I try not to be jealous of them. They deserve to be happy." 

Magnus swallows and nods. He can't  _ really _ imagine what it must be like for Alec. "Everyone deserves happiness." He says quietly. 

Alec huffs a little. "That's easy for you to say. You're a warlock. The world is your oyster."

"Even I can't have everything." Magnus says softly. "Are  _ you _ happy?" 

Something flickers over Alec's face, and if Magnus didn't know better, he might think it's something like regret. "I made my choice, Magnus," Alec says. "I have to be happy with it." 

Magnus can't help himself as he steps closer to Alec, brushing his hand over his arm. "You don't have to be unh..." Soft lips, softer than he ever would have dreamed of, are suddenly pressed against his. A calloused hand brushes over his neck and pulls him closer.

Magnus can't breathe. He'd dreamed of this moment for so long but never would he have dared to hope that the day would come. He melts against Alec, chasing his lips when Alec pulls back. It's achingly sweet, the way Alec kisses him, touches him. Almost like he's scared Magnus might break if he just grips him too tight, pulls him too close. Alec kisses him again, with more urgency now. It feels like a dam breaking, and suddenly they're tugging at each other's shirts, pressing closer to each other. Magnus moans into Alec's mouth, soft and more desperate than he intended to. 

"Please..." Alec mumbles against Magnus' lips. 

Magnus looks at Alec, whose pupils are blown wide with desire. "Please? What do you want, dear?" He doesn't dare to assume, not when all this is so entirely unexpected. 

"Please... I..."

Alec doesn't seem to have the words, so Magnus helps him out. "You want me to take you home?" He asks softly, not wanting to pressure Alec. But he needn't have worried, because Alec nods immediately. 

"Yes, please... I... I want you, please..." That's all the confirmation Magnus needs.


End file.
